The Blind Spots of the Wounded Healer
Many of us feel that we were born to help heal humanity, but often that call toward healing should be directed inwardly first. Our desire to help mend the world is as a result of internal wounds that we are acting out in the world. I see it often in the students on that path of light who are seeking to save the world. Although relatively new to internal and self-development work, they may have had a few breakthroughs, which they feel suddenly qualify them as experts in the field.
They are quick to call themselves “game changers” or “leaders” in their field, offering programs for “total happiness,” “abundant living,” “removal of all fears,” and “removal of past-life traumas” in one session or a 60-day program. Every time I read these ads, it breaks my heart. It is not that the programs they are selling do not have value, but that what they are promising is an overgeneralization of a process that might take multiple sessions and 60-day programs to master. If you are truly an expert and you have any integrity, you will never promise this. The human psyche and the subconscious mind are complex. The negative programs of the subconscious mind are created layer-by-layer. The 60-day programs may address one layer, but the client may find himself in fear six months down the road. So the promise made was inaccurate. Certain negative programs and behaviors go back millions of years. Imagine how many layers may be present.
Yet they are popular. They are brilliant marketers, and they sell their programs impressively. They are making a lot of money and are judging their success by the size of their bank accounts. To them, future clients are leads that they have to convert into sales. This is painful for me to witness. They are using spiritual language to sell incomplete processes, and this is because their own spiritual mastery is lacking. They are deeply wounded inside. For me, success is not about how much money I am making, but how truly healed my clients are by my guidance.
When I see or read copies that promise “Twelve Steps to Total Happiness” or “Seven Keys to Manifesting,” I know that this is bubble-gum spirituality. There exists an infinite number of steps and reasons why you are stuck, and getting unstuck will require a process rather than a few simple steps. None of these really work long term. Stop regurgitating what is popular, and express what is true.
But they are not totally to blame for many clients do not want to do the real work. They want the bubble gum and easy promise. They do not want to hear that this may take months, if not years, to master.
Moreover, the psyche and personal process of every client is different. Whatever process or protocol you have created, it is not a panacea for all issues that the client is facing. Many times I have found that the process has to be adjusted or thrown out altogether. In fact, it is in that space that real healing takes place. When you have a soul in need in front of you, you have to rely on your own inner guidance and intuition to find the solution set for them. Two things must happen: you must respect their own internal process and timing. Sometimes they are not prepared to move at the pace of your 60-day program. You have to connect to their Higher Self for that timing. Additionally, by listening to your own inner guidance for a solution, you will grow and evolve a customized process for them.
My spiritual teacher told me: “Pierre, you teach what you want to learn.” To date, this is one of the most profound statements I have ever heard. In this sentence is the realization that I am not an expert or game changer. In fact, I am wounded inside, and every client is an opportunity for me to teach, to learn, and to heal myself. With this comes deep respect for every soul I attempt to heal, for they are often a mirror that reflects back to me areas in my own psyche I have to attend to. Sometimes you do a healing, and you get a healing as well.
I simply support my clients with deep love and respect. Since all healing is self-healing, our body and psyche has an inner intelligence that is acutely aware of the solution set that we may need. By connecting and listening to the client’s Higher Self and inner intelligence, the healing grows organically and becomes deeply impactful.
Dear healers, if you recognize yourself above, understand that I am not shaming you. In fact, it is because I see the value in you that I am writing this. I believe that if you know better, you will do better. With some simple adjustments in your consciousness and approach toward your practice, you can truly make a sizable and real difference—if you can remember that every client is here to teach you something. He/she is a mirror for a personal and unresolved internal process to which you have been blinded. Know this, and see your life and healing practice transform in the most miraculous manner.