In previous blogs, I have written about “The Hidden Secrets of the Divine Feminine” and “The Gifts of the Divine Masculine”; but no one is completely one gender. Inside us resides the opposite gender to which we must reconcile in order for us to become whole and complete. The ancient alchemists called this process the Alchemical Marriage. It is the complete blending of the masculine with the feminine. All of us must go through this process in order for us to achieve a state of internal balance and harmony. Let me elaborate.
If you are a male, the female part of you is repressed, but alive in your psyche. If you are a female, the male part of you is suppressed in your psyche. Each individual has to achieve the internal merger of their masculine and feminine for him/her to be whole. To the medieval alchemist, this was the ultimate alchemical process. No one could find the much sought-after Philosopher’s Stone without achieving this marriage. Moreover, none of us have always incarnated as just one gender. The cellular memories of the other gender are still present in the psyche. This may help explain the difference between the gender that one may be physically and one’s the gender identity. Sometimes, it is not the same gender, for your true gender is not determined by what is between your legs, but by how you perceive yourself to be.
Although one can think about the internal-but-opposite gender as an allegory, the fluidity of our gender is not out of the realm of physical possibility. In a remote village in the western part of the Dominican Republic little girls often change gender at puberty. The phenomenon is called the “guevedoces”—which literally translates as “penis at 12.” The same has been observed in the Sambian villages of Papua New Guinea.
Although the article mentioned in the link above seems to refer to a genetic disorder, maybe at some point in our primordial history we could control and do this at will, for once past the Sixth Dimension, there is no gender as we know it. Sentient life forms simply fluctuate between states of passivity and activity. I suspect that this “genetic defect” is a remnant of that ability.
The Universe was created by two basic impulses: a desire to give and a desire to receive. If the instinct to give is masculine, then the instinct to receive is feminine. But the role that a male and female are called to play is not just being always active or always passive, respectively. The Giver has to also learn how to receive, as the Receiver must also learn how to give, for it is the only way that the cycle of sustainable flow of energy can be completed.
If you are in a relationship where the roles are set—one partner gives and the other receives—there is great unbalance in this scenario. This creates an incomplete and unsustainable flow of energy. For the cycle to be complete, the Giver has to yield and receive at times, just as the Receiver has to become active and give. When this happens, the heavens will sing and bless this exchange and union, for a torsion field will be created, which is the basic pattern by which the entire Universe is created.
For that to happen, you have to observe and learn from your partner and express the suppressed gender and role. Stop trying to change your partner. Instead, learn and mirror their behavior as a way to exchange energy in a more sustainable manner. Not only receive support and advice, but learn how to give it as well. Instead of always being soothed, learn how to comfort as well. Any attempt of this kind will put you in touch with your internal and repressed gender.
God does not care about the gender of your partner. As long as the Giver in the relationship can also receive and the Receiver can also give, your union will be blessed by the Celestial Hosts.
The Taoist Elders spoke of the Tao: the perfect balancing of the yin and the yang. This state of being is the Alchemical Marriage. We each should exist individually in that balanced state of being. It gives internal sustainable completion and inner peace. All of our romantic attractions and relationships are external attempts at learning how to achieve this state of being within. Some of us need the external experience to connect to the inner landscape. Others are capable of connecting to their inner gender without outside stimulus. Whatever the case may be, learn how to connect to your inner gender and find real peace and happiness. If you exist in the Tao, all of your external relationships will dramatically improve.