In the past 24 hours I have been contacted by five individuals seeking help, for they feel like they are drowning. They are all highly depressed, and one is suicidal. In appearance, they all have “the perfect life”—good job, great family, great home, charitable giving, good standing in the community—but when they are alone, they hear an inner voice whispering: you are a fraud. They are suffering from an inner malaise that they cannot escape. Their beautiful life is a sham for it is inauthentic.
I hesitantly brought this information to the attention of an ascension class that I was teaching last night and everyone in the class identified with it. This surprised me and forced me to connect to a prevailing disease that is present in the ether of the planet. I sensed that many are suffering from this but do not have the psycho-spiritual sophistication to identify the problem or are too afraid to express it. Silently, they are suffering until the pressure becomes too much and they begin to break into full-blown depression or panic attacks while not knowing why.
There are external reasons why this is so. Our solar system is traveling through a region of the galaxy that is putting us in direct contact with The Nameless Light from the galactic equator. That Light is seeking our authentic nature for it is the only thing that it will connect to. This rising paradigm is about truth, transparency, and authenticity. The fact that we are inauthentic means that we are in dissonance with that emerging frequency. This misalignment is the cause of the existential crisis.
As children, we learn that the world is not supportive of the expression of our authentic core. We are repeatedly told how to behave, and we gather quickly what is acceptable and what is not. No one wants to be rejected and ostracized. Over time, we evolve a persona or buffer that serves as a bridge between our core and the outside world. This is not just a subconscious program that develops because we experience a trauma or emotional attack. This is a polished, sophisticated, and complex sub-personality module with behaviors, attitudes, thoughts, and responses. It is so well integrated that no one from the outside can tell it is not you. If we were actors playing a role on stage, then “job well done.” But this is our life and none of it is real. It is not authentic to who we are and what we truly feel. It is designed to make us feel accepted and loved by the outside.
Within a few years of expressing this persona or sub-personality module, we begin to forget what our core feels or looks like. The more time we spend acting as the persona, the more we forget our authenticity. Added to this is the need to accommodate not just the expectations from the world in a family setting, but also the different expectations from school, the playground, work, or socializing with friends. So we create multiple sub-personality modules to buffer our authentic core from these various external situations. Most of us spend our day moving from one sub-personality module to the next without ever connecting and reinforcing any authentic and genuine desires. Given enough time spent expressing these false identities, we no longer remember what our authentic core looks like.
All this self-deceit is predicated on the fact that we are afraid the world would neither understand nor approve of our authentic self. Our authentic core is a fragile, extinguishable, and breakable point that makes us feel so vulnerable and exposed that we dare not express it to the world. We innately understand how precious and valuable it is, and chancing ridicule from the world would break the flow of this tiny stream and extinguish our light. It is a unique key vibratory signature that no one else in the Universe possesses. It is a singular and specific expression of the Light of the Divine that is not repeated anywhere. The hiding of this inner treasure from the conformity of the enculturation process drives this disenfranchisement.
We want approval and acceptance from others and fear ridicule for being the oddball or the freak. So we create sub-personality modules or false axes as a means to keep the secret in place. But over a lifetime of living in false identities, we begin to believe them to be true. We no longer know where our core is or remember what it feels like. Outwardly, we continue to act as if everything were OK, but within, we are terrified that we cannot find that special, unique, and fulfilling place anymore.
Added to this is the fact that the Nameless Light is now seeking our authentic core, which is our unique expression of the Divine Light, for if we are authentic, we can easily acclimate ourselves to the frequencies of that Light. The more inaccessible our authentic core is to us, the more disassociation we will feel as we become fully enveloped by that Light.
If you have identified with the above, seek professional help, for depending on how deeply you have buried your authenticity, it may take you a while to find it. Short of having professional assistance, there are some steps that you can take toward finding your authentic core. Do the following meditation:
Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Allow the Universal Light substance that permeates everything to enter into your lungs. Breathe deeply. Let your head drop into the center of your chest. Realize that you can perceive energies 360º around you. Breathe deeply. Notice what you notice. Breathe deeply. Now, find your authentic core. Pay attention to any and all axes that may exist around your center. Breathe deeply. Identify any false axes and sub-personality modules that may exist. Now take a deep breathe, surrender, and let go of these false identities. It is not your burden to do or fix anything. Just release, let go, and allow the Universal Light substance to dissolve them. (Repeat this as necessary). Take a deep breath, and when you feel ready, open your eyes.
You may have to revisit this meditation multiple times to eliminate all the false identities. I, for one, was shocked to see so many false identities that I thought I would never find my core. Finding your core is an encounter with your inner fragility. It is a scary and vulnerable experience. Moreover, your core identity is not a vocation or activity; it is a feeling.
The normal instinct is to continue to hide and protect it at all cost. This may sound counterintuitive, but it is the truth: It is in finding the courage to expose this vulnerable center to the world that true freedom and liberation exist. It is an aspect of the Divine Grace that has nurtured your soul through multiple incarnations. Upon merger back with Source, that unique trajectory will bring experiences to a field of potentialities, enriching the infinite Source. Follow the core frequency and organize your life around this authentic truth to give your life meaning.
If you can do this, your life will begin to be aligned with your individual and unique expression of the Divine. You will move closer to fulfilling your piece of the puzzle. Finding the courage to express this unique vibratory signature is the key to achieving your dharma. Like the pieces of a puzzle, we each have a unique frequency, purpose, and reason for being. Accepting and celebrating your uniqueness and broadcasting it to the world will give permission to others to do the same. Exposing your vulnerability to the world will cause others to remember that they too have an authentic core, and you will entrain them to liberate themselves.