In the process of doing inner work you are bound to find past behaviors, attitudes, programs, memories, and belief systems that are contaminated by selfish desires. It is inevitable that you will run into a past episode of darkness from this or previous life times to which you will have to reconcile. Although many in the light community believe they are only made of light and love, it may not be factually true. Dig a little deeper, and you will find the shadow cast by the light. The Universe is 900 billion years old, and in that time frame, we have all wandered off the straight path. We have all traveled in marginal neighborhoods. We have all acted in a reprehensible manner in the name of the light. For example, more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason. In this arena, the lesson is that zealotry for the light or dark makes fools and sinners out of us all.
As we move through the quickening, a time of accelerated change, we have to let go of the illusion of perfection. We have to critically and factually look into the recesses of the subconscious mind and find the light and dark that lies therein. This obsession with being prefect stems from an external and projected standard of perfection.Wanting to belong and not be shunned, we suppress and repress all vulnerabilities, weaknesses, fears, differences, and shadows that could be judged and rejected by the accepted norm.
As we move toward the path of return, our imperfections and inner darkness have to be transmuted into light. No one becomes divine by acting out a preconceived notion of light. You have to become fully human, acknowledging the weakness, pain, inadequacies, and shadows. The root of your divinity lies in the self-reconciliation of these human failings. Once these inner fractures are healed, you will know a certainty, strength, and cohesiveness that will reveal your true inner light.
To look into the suppressed and repressed recesses of the subconscious mind requires a specific kind of courage. The average person will not attempt to do this for we are trained to run away from discomfort. Yet this discomfort is your friend. It is trying to communicate and deliver a message for you to uncloak the blind spot that is sabotaging you. As you listen within, you are going to discover untamed and negative desires, behaviors, memories, and shadows. The initial reaction ranges from denial, guilt, self-flagellation, and self-loathing. We may try to rationalize, erase, or eradicate this knowledge, or we may sink into the belief that this past desire or action is our identity. Both of these reactions are unhealthy.
As long as you are in that space, you have an inner fracture. Your psyche is split. But your past behavior is not your identity. It was an emotional reaction that happened due to your level of consciousness and maturity at that time. You are not the same being now. It is nothing more than an aspect of you. For you to self-reconcile, do not attempt to erase the shadow. Rather see this as a learning opportunity. I guide my students struggling with this to talk to the darkness, for if it senses that you are trying to eliminate it, it will battle with you. Trust me, you are not going to win that fight. In the course of your exchange, find the higher wisdom that was hidden in this experience. Every event can be perceived from a lower or higher octave. Find the higher octave, motivation, and wisdom connected to this experience and know that this higher expression is something that you can call upon if ever you need to.
Before you start the conversation with the shadow, you may want to repeat the Ho’ oponopono to self: “Please forgive me. I love you and I let go.” You are asking your higher-self for forgiveness for having been spiritually immature. You have to become neutral to your inner guilt and self-flagellation. Once this is done, your inner conversation with the shadow will be fruitful.
We are ancient and complex beings made of multiple aspects. Your fears and shadows play an important role in the balance of your psyche. Reconcile yourself to your past failings, and heal the inner fractures that are draining the fulfillment of your purpose. You don’t need to destroy and eliminate them; you need to transmute them into a positive and contributing member of your inner team. Knowing the wisdom, lesson, and value of the experiences will do just that.